just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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