my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
