Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
