Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
