i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So much rum. So many feels.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
