PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
