Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
