We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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