"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
