so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
