Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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