i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
