Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
