He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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