Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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