idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
