They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
