dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
