i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
