I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i now understand why vodka
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
