i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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