'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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