I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
