i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
