Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
