hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
