Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
