im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
a search helicopter?!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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