i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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