Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
