Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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