A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
