It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
