Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
