you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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