He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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