I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
