But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
