omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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