He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
