Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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