Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I am one with the molecules
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
