lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If I die, sorry about rent.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
