there's paper in my vomit.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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