I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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