I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
