i just wanna soil my oats bro
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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