There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
