Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
