Im at strip club and am horny
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize