Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
