Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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