I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
two words...techno handjob
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
