i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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