I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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