It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
