I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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