his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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